The Grand Entry

Last year,this time, my world changed forever.

2 tiny persons entered our lives.How it happened is not a simple story.They were impatient to see this world, or at least Zoya was and poor Zeba had no choice...Here's a quick recap.

My due date was November beginning.We hoped to go till October at least.Well God had other plans.On 31st August I started getting contractions which wouldn't go away whole day.Decided to get admitted though the last diagnosis was just uterine irritability.The scan revealed that the blood flow to one baby was decreased and that I had to take more medicines and rest to prolong the pregnancy for one more month.And so started long intravenous drips, oxygen inhalation, daily labour room visits for tests etc.All was fine again and we started relaxing in spite of the daily protocol.

My in-laws came to visit me on September 3rd and we spent the  time relaxing and talking.About an hour after they left,I felt as if my water started breaking.All chaos broke out.I was shifted to the labour room for confirmation.Even the doctor on duty was doubtful though I was confident of the diagnosis.My mother and husband returned to the hospital room and spent the night praying that it was a false alarm.They were unaware that I had lost a lot of water after they left.

Next day morning I informed them what happened.We then waited for the senior doctor to come.She did a scan and reported that almost all the water around one baby was lost.She discussed with the chief and decided to go ahead with emergency caesarean section.

On September 4th,2012, exactly 2 months before their due date, they arrived. By 11.45 my first baby girl was born and at 11.46 my second.I saw a glimpse of them both and heard their cries before they were whisked off to their pediatrician.

My husband was there with their pediatrician throughout the initial examination.My grandfather was called to sound the azaan  in their ears after being warned not to go too near.After that,off they went to the neonatal intensive care unit for preterm care.

I saw them through photographs taken by my husband till I recovered enough to visit them in the ICU by September 6th.My heart almost stopped on seeing how tiny they were.My husband kept reassuring me and the rest of the family that they were healthy otherwise and that they would be like term newborns within a couple of months.

My girls, the little fighters, slowly advanced under the wonderful care they received in the ICU.I would go to them twice a day and hold them and talk to them.My husband would do the same every weekend.The rest of the family still had to satisfy themselves with photographs.

After about a month,we got them to our room,one at a time.On their 40th day, with Allah's blessings, we went home.

The Carrying Angle

Today is the last day of 2012.The world was predicted to end in 2012.Though it didn't (yet),the world definitely turned upside down for me.In a good way.

In February this wonderful year we came to know I was carrying.I tried to control my happiness and take one step at a time and place everything in the Almighty's hands.My blood values were on the higher side and my doctor was immediately suspicious of twins .Mom had come down to India for a short visit and was staying with us at the time.We had to wait for two weeks for the first ultrasound which was my personal nightmare.

My husband could not take the suspense any longer and off we went for the scan a day earlier than scheduled.Mom sat outside praying while we went in.I told the doc about the twin suspicion.Every second she stared at the screen seemed like an era to me.Finally she turned the monitor around and said "Well your suspicions are confirmed,it is a twin gestation." I guess I should have felt elated but my biggest worry was still pending. "How about the heartbeats?Is it there?" I asked with no expressions on my face. After a 'pregnant' pause,she replied "Yes,see that's one and there's the other."That's when I finally breathed.

I had always fantasized having twins.Well who hasn't?But never in my wildest dreams did I actually think it would become true.And I had always thought that when I became preggo I would continue working till the due date.God had other plans.

God exempted me from the common symptom of throwing up and instead gave me fatigue,bleeding episodes,umpteen pills including hormones,severe diet control,frequent testing and ultrasounds,travel restrictions,panic attacks,urine infections,sleepless nights,aches etc.Stress and inconsiderate behaviour at my workplace just added to it.Each bleeding episode was a terror.Another panic attack occured when a scan done in Coimbatore revealed that I might need a stitch to keep the babies inside.Thankfully my doctor in Kerala did not find it necessary but advised to stop working and so we decided that I would now take rest at my home in Cochin.Each time I felt more kicks coming from the left,I would worry about the baby on my right.The doctor had warned that premature delivery is a risk as it was twins and so I prayed to carry the pregnancy forward as much as possible.More than anything,it was the tension that was unbearable.I think having twins inside me doubled the anxiety.

Travelling was definitely a problem.My hubby and mom became experts at slow driving and turning a deaf ear to the persistant honking from behind and the snide remarks.A three hour journey from Coimbatore to Trissur, to write a reputed international exam in Ophthalmology which I had applied for before I knew I was carrying,took six long tiring hours.By the end of the trip I was exhausted and my back was killing me.Only when the results came out several months later did I not regret the trip.God is indeed kind.

Each day passed was a blessing to me.Though we got scares along the way,God always pulled us through it.Despite the tensions I loved being pregnant.Its such a wonderful feeling.The attention and consideration lavished on me was wonderful.Feeling my babies moving inside me was even more awesome.I forgot all the hardships when their tiny feet kicked.I couldn't wait to hold them in my arms.Did I wish too soon?More about that in the next post.

For happiness I shall fight

Why do I feel so old?

The times are passing by fast

Makes me want to go to the past

Because today is scary and cold

Black and white

Where have the colors gone?

Makes me want to cry and moan

But for happiness I shall fight

Frown and smile

That is what I shall do

For I still have you

And so life is worth the while

[ Just an attempt at serious stuff and a change of style ]

What is your verdict?

Sometimes in life,one tends to stumble upon situations that make you feel helpless even when you are yearning to help.

This story is about a doctor.I shall not say who or where.You tell me what you think.

There was a doctor in a small town.Patients were always queuing up outside his door.They claimed that their diseases seemed to get cured immediately on taking his treatment.They knew he was expensive but were ready to spend because the remedy never failed.A gifted doctor?Its for you to decide.

My husband and I were curious to know what drugs this particular doctor gives and makes everyone up & about so fast.These are a few instances we came across.When patients went with complaints of high fever,he gave them a high dose of iv steroids and brought down their temperature immediately.Then why shouldn't the innocent patients sing songs of praises?A simple 1st degree burns of only anterior aspect of 1 forearm,by plain boiling water was prescribed IV 3rd generation cephalosporins and IV Amikacin for a single day.A lady with diagnosed chronic allergic upper airway disease with occasional allergic bronchitis,with no history of fever was immediately prescribed IV Cefaperazone,IV Sulbactam,IV Amikacin,IV Deriphyllin,IV Avil.

The thing which irked me most was the trust these patients had in this doctor.If you advised them to go to another well known doctor in the locality,they were reluctant because they feel they will not get cured as fast as with this fellow.

Well it does not seem that right to me.If someone can tell me what the rationale was for the above treatment then I'm ready to listen.Do give me your views.

And Another Bird Flies Away

Time for adieus,another set of goodbyes.One of my best friends, Surya is now moving away to the United Kingdom for good.

She was known as the baby of our lil group of 5.Tonight when I spoke to her to wish her the best for the future ahead,she sounded like a woman.Yes the baby had become a woman.The maturity was evident in her voice.It seemed impossible so long ago but it is true.

Surya is going to her husband and going to start a whole new chapter there.There is apprehension and excitement at the same time.It is after all across several seas to a brand new place.New people,new lifestyle. The highlight of course is the loving husband.

Again I feel a sadness,a feeling of loss.Whenever friends leave the country,it definitely gets to me.What if we never meet again? I know its easy to keep in touch in today's world but is it always possible?It certainly requires time and work.What if I am too busy or she is too preoccupied?It can happen to anyone but still the feeling sure irks me.Once lost and then found.That is not the case always,is it?Soon another friend will fly away to another country too and the feeling shall seep again.However life goes on and like my favorite quote goes, 'Tomorrow is another day'.So waiting for a happy reunion with my 4 bosom friends after a short while and the next time hopefully as a bigger group.

I shall end by saying that I am glad to have met the smallest person with the biggest heart.Wish you all the best in life Surya.And remember,we are just a phone call or a click away. :) Will miss you.

Ramadan Times

Here come Ramadan again!The holy month.A time to cleanse your soul and pray hard and take fast.And with the fasting comes the cooking.Yes the cooking part simply cannot be ignored during this month.

Up till marriage Ramadan was not a difficult task simply because I was not wholly responsible for the food that reaches the table for Iftar.And then 2 years ago things changed.

We married in the end of July in 2009.Ramadan started in August mid or so.First week was alright as I was at my in-laws.Then we rejoined work and then started the trouble.I didn't know what to serve him.I knew basic cooking and could make stuff from scratch using recipes but that was not enough.Cooking started after I reached home from work and I had to finish in a couple of hours.Main problem was the speed.I was slow because I was unsure.Mom sent me recipes through email and I would try to do them as best as I could.Sometimes things would not work out well and I would get exasperated and start crying.Then would come the consoling sessions by my mother and my hubby.And then the whole cycle would repeat itself.

2010 was far better the way I see it.Though again I was getting only a couple of hours to do all the cooking and that too by starting immediately after reaching home from an 8 hour shift,things went pretty smoothly.I was faster and more importantly more confident.And my husband was supportive.Preplanning did wonders too.And so we glided through the holy month without much of a problem.

2011 is here and Ramadan starts tomorrow.Hoping for this one to go smoothly as well.So starting out with crossed fingers.Ramadan Kareem to all!May the Almighty bless everyone abundantly.

A lil bit for me

No matter how highly qualified you are,sometimes you wish to achieve some things which are not as sophisticated or as interesting.Some of these may be just handy tips to go through life.Some are for recreational purposes.Some are to achieve a sense of accomplishment.Whatever the reasons may be,I am sure most of us do have some tiny yearning of some sort.

I, like most other people have a list of things I wanted to do or learn but never really got around to it.Some have been attempted and stranded in between.Some never even begun.Some are to make myself more efficient and independent.Some to make me a better person.Some just for the sake of knowing it.And some for fun.

Many are inspired by family which is no surprise as the reason is obvious.

Here are some of the things I would like to do,in no particular order.The purpose of the attempt of writing down such a list is mainly for my own use.So that there'll be clearer picture in my mind and I do not lose my way in between.And also so that I'll atleast fear the following situation -"5 years later,somebody who has read this post asks me how many of these I have successfully managed to achieve and I feebly mumble 'none'."So here goes.

1.Cooking -The fastest route to your man's heart.Or anybody's for that matter.Also for survival.Though it has become a new passion for me since I started cooking on my own.The wonderful displays,flavors and aromas are an inspiration in itself.I hope to become a better cook and try more and more cuisines and dishes soon.

2.Stitching and Embroidery - To have fashion sense is a good quality and to create fashion is even more so.I would like to concentrate on embroidery for now and slowly expand to other areas of fashion eventually.

3.Gardening - Simply because the colors of flowers make me smile and the green of the living plants soothes my soul.Want to start with potted plants in the balcony for now because that itself seems tough sometimes.:)

4.Handywork - Just the basics.Mainly because I hate having to depend on others to get things repaired.And things may get done faster.

5.Photography & Editing - Always loved capturing life and moments in the tiny screen.Making them look more appealing is an appealing thought too and thus the editing.

6.Wear a sari - I know how to wear a sari but not with the amount of neatness and perfection I wish to attain.I feel every Indian ought to know it so that's one for my list.

7.Painting - Again because it great to see one's work hanging on a wall or being worn and appreciated.

8.More contact with family and friends - Maintaining relationships is not an easy task and requires constant effort.I would like to work more towards that.

9.Organization and Execution - So that life goes smoothly and I save time.Does not mean monotony though.

10.Web designing - Only because I'm in awe of it and because I never did learn the finer details.

That's it then.Shall check the list now and then to see if there is any progress on my part.

Wishful Thinking

"Star light,
Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may,I wish I might,
Have the wish, I wish tonight..."

I thought of writing about wishes when I saw a video my cousin shared from youtube.Everybody has dreams and wishes and aspirations.Some are silly,some are valuable.Some are wished for fun,some are wished with heavy hearts.How many of them come true?How many of them change into something else?But does that make us stop wishing?Never.


"Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now ,wish right now, wish right now"

I know many people who make a wish on sighting a shooting star & on loose eyelashes.Some do it by tossing a coin into a wishing fountain.Some by blowing a wishing dandy.Some others use a wishbone.Do they really believe these make wishes come true or is it just for fun?Maybe its just the whole romantic feeling it gives.After all we have grown up listening to Cinderella & her fairy Godmother with the wishing wand.Not to forget Aladdin's magic lamp with the genie granting him wishes.

Then there are the more serious wishes.Especially the last wishes of those dying.These death wishes become more valuable because of the shortage of time available to these people.Sometimes within a matter of days,the entire world changes for some.The ground gets pulled from underneath their feet and they will be under shock and denial.All that they had thought they could do over a lifetime suddenly has a near deadline.A second becomes as valuable as a year.

About the video I mentioned earlier,in it a doctor says how he was once asked by a woman to deliver her baby immediately so that her son would be able to hold his father's finger at least once.Was touching.A father's last wish was satisfied.


Now what can we do to make these precious wishes come true?Have you heard of the make-a-wish foundation.Started in the US,it now exists in India since 1995.It is an organization aimed at fulfilling a cherished wish by a terminally ill child.Like they say,it helps to bring back what the disease takes away-hope,strength & joy.More than 18,600 wishes have been fulfilled by the organization in India already.I think its highly praise-worthy.Hope they are able to fulfill many more wishes.You can help them make these cherished wishes come true by donating to them in any way possible.Do not hesitate to check out their website http://www.makeawishindia.org/ .

I believe we should not hold back our wishes,after all wishing is free.Sometimes you do not need a wishing wand or a shooting star or a loosened eyelash,sometimes..a prayer is all you need.So make a wish now!The wish-maker may make it come true..

A Year has Ended & a New Begins

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Apple of my Eye

Sometimes we come across certain people,places or situations which make us realise how lucky we are and make us wonder about the life we take for granted,well isn't it close to perfect?

Few days ago we had a tiny tot as our patient in the department of Ophthalmology.Such a cute little chubby toddler who was giggling away with pure joy whenever his father called out to him or his mother tickled him.Within minutes he was surrounded by the people seated next to the lovely family in the waiting room.The perfect picture of a perfect baby right?

Well unfortunately God had other plans.

This little 7 month old baby was blind in both eyes and would never ever see this world!

The news shocks even the toughest of souls,melts the hardest hearts and makes every nonbeliever say a thank you to the Creator above.

Little baby Abhishek was the first born to his young parents.He was the apple of their eye from the time they set their eyes upon his tiny face.When he was born his parents might have counted his tiny toes and fingers and heard him crying loudly when hungry  and finally watched him sleeping contendly and thought that their little son was as normal as could be.Imagine their bewilderment once their son grew bigger and healthier but would not look at their faces at all and they began to suspect if fate did indeed play a cruel game with them.

Recently only they came face to face with the bitter truth.Their precious had cortical blindness.A type of blindness where the damaged part is the brain area controlling vision.Also 90% of that area was damaged,so there was almost no chances of recovery.Plus no cure.

However one thing that struck me was that they still loved and cared for him immensely and was not showing their sadness to us.They seemed to have accepted it as their fate and embraced it with open arms.They now took joy from the fact that he was showing at least some signs of sight on bringing their face right up to his little one,which most probably is just shadow perception.However they seem glad to atleast have that much.They count him among their blessings.

Looking back,there are many things which this little family has taught me.Hope they taught you something too.I shall end this post by asking you to say a word of prayer for Abhishek and his parents.

The First

Hello world!!!!

This is my first blog.My first words to you.

The idea of starting my own blog has been bouncing up and down in my mind for months now.However I was hesitant as I did not know if I would be faithful to it.Would I stop posting blogs after a couple of entries and erase the memory of my blog from my long term memory??Reading my friends' blogs made me go ahead with the plan and give it a shot.Voicing my thoughts for all of you to ponder and maybe help me along the way is definitely interesting.And so here it goes.

My life now is at the end of a phase called COLLEGE.In about 10 days i shall say goodbye forever to my alma mater.My internship is coming to an end.I am not as sad as I expected, to leave this home of 6 years as most of my dearest friends have already left and embarked on an even more adventurous journey called LIFE ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET! College without your best buds is like having food without salt.I regret finishing the last 3 months of my college life without my batch but I definitely do not regret the reason for my finishing late.The reason could not have been better than my marriage to my lifepartner Riyas.And the reason would not have happened if my family hadn't fallen in love with him too.

So I now end this blog giving thanks to the Almighty who sent me all these little angels on earth called family and friends.Always help me smile through my tears...