The Grand Entry

Last year,this time, my world changed forever.

2 tiny persons entered our lives.How it happened is not a simple story.They were impatient to see this world, or at least Zoya was and poor Zeba had no choice...Here's a quick recap.

My due date was November beginning.We hoped to go till October at least.Well God had other plans.On 31st August I started getting contractions which wouldn't go away whole day.Decided to get admitted though the last diagnosis was just uterine irritability.The scan revealed that the blood flow to one baby was decreased and that I had to take more medicines and rest to prolong the pregnancy for one more month.And so started long intravenous drips, oxygen inhalation, daily labour room visits for tests etc.All was fine again and we started relaxing in spite of the daily protocol.

My in-laws came to visit me on September 3rd and we spent the  time relaxing and talking.About an hour after they left,I felt as if my water started breaking.All chaos broke out.I was shifted to the labour room for confirmation.Even the doctor on duty was doubtful though I was confident of the diagnosis.My mother and husband returned to the hospital room and spent the night praying that it was a false alarm.They were unaware that I had lost a lot of water after they left.

Next day morning I informed them what happened.We then waited for the senior doctor to come.She did a scan and reported that almost all the water around one baby was lost.She discussed with the chief and decided to go ahead with emergency caesarean section.

On September 4th,2012, exactly 2 months before their due date, they arrived. By 11.45 my first baby girl was born and at 11.46 my second.I saw a glimpse of them both and heard their cries before they were whisked off to their pediatrician.

My husband was there with their pediatrician throughout the initial examination.My grandfather was called to sound the azaan  in their ears after being warned not to go too near.After that,off they went to the neonatal intensive care unit for preterm care.

I saw them through photographs taken by my husband till I recovered enough to visit them in the ICU by September 6th.My heart almost stopped on seeing how tiny they were.My husband kept reassuring me and the rest of the family that they were healthy otherwise and that they would be like term newborns within a couple of months.

My girls, the little fighters, slowly advanced under the wonderful care they received in the ICU.I would go to them twice a day and hold them and talk to them.My husband would do the same every weekend.The rest of the family still had to satisfy themselves with photographs.

After about a month,we got them to our room,one at a time.On their 40th day, with Allah's blessings, we went home.

The Carrying Angle

Today is the last day of 2012.The world was predicted to end in 2012.Though it didn't (yet),the world definitely turned upside down for me.In a good way.

In February this wonderful year we came to know I was carrying.I tried to control my happiness and take one step at a time and place everything in the Almighty's hands.My blood values were on the higher side and my doctor was immediately suspicious of twins .Mom had come down to India for a short visit and was staying with us at the time.We had to wait for two weeks for the first ultrasound which was my personal nightmare.

My husband could not take the suspense any longer and off we went for the scan a day earlier than scheduled.Mom sat outside praying while we went in.I told the doc about the twin suspicion.Every second she stared at the screen seemed like an era to me.Finally she turned the monitor around and said "Well your suspicions are confirmed,it is a twin gestation." I guess I should have felt elated but my biggest worry was still pending. "How about the heartbeats?Is it there?" I asked with no expressions on my face. After a 'pregnant' pause,she replied "Yes,see that's one and there's the other."That's when I finally breathed.

I had always fantasized having twins.Well who hasn't?But never in my wildest dreams did I actually think it would become true.And I had always thought that when I became preggo I would continue working till the due date.God had other plans.

God exempted me from the common symptom of throwing up and instead gave me fatigue,bleeding episodes,umpteen pills including hormones,severe diet control,frequent testing and ultrasounds,travel restrictions,panic attacks,urine infections,sleepless nights,aches etc.Stress and inconsiderate behaviour at my workplace just added to it.Each bleeding episode was a terror.Another panic attack occured when a scan done in Coimbatore revealed that I might need a stitch to keep the babies inside.Thankfully my doctor in Kerala did not find it necessary but advised to stop working and so we decided that I would now take rest at my home in Cochin.Each time I felt more kicks coming from the left,I would worry about the baby on my right.The doctor had warned that premature delivery is a risk as it was twins and so I prayed to carry the pregnancy forward as much as possible.More than anything,it was the tension that was unbearable.I think having twins inside me doubled the anxiety.

Travelling was definitely a problem.My hubby and mom became experts at slow driving and turning a deaf ear to the persistant honking from behind and the snide remarks.A three hour journey from Coimbatore to Trissur, to write a reputed international exam in Ophthalmology which I had applied for before I knew I was carrying,took six long tiring hours.By the end of the trip I was exhausted and my back was killing me.Only when the results came out several months later did I not regret the trip.God is indeed kind.

Each day passed was a blessing to me.Though we got scares along the way,God always pulled us through it.Despite the tensions I loved being pregnant.Its such a wonderful feeling.The attention and consideration lavished on me was wonderful.Feeling my babies moving inside me was even more awesome.I forgot all the hardships when their tiny feet kicked.I couldn't wait to hold them in my arms.Did I wish too soon?More about that in the next post.

Wishful Thinking

"Star light,
Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may,I wish I might,
Have the wish, I wish tonight..."

I thought of writing about wishes when I saw a video my cousin shared from youtube.Everybody has dreams and wishes and aspirations.Some are silly,some are valuable.Some are wished for fun,some are wished with heavy hearts.How many of them come true?How many of them change into something else?But does that make us stop wishing?Never.


"Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now ,wish right now, wish right now"

I know many people who make a wish on sighting a shooting star & on loose eyelashes.Some do it by tossing a coin into a wishing fountain.Some by blowing a wishing dandy.Some others use a wishbone.Do they really believe these make wishes come true or is it just for fun?Maybe its just the whole romantic feeling it gives.After all we have grown up listening to Cinderella & her fairy Godmother with the wishing wand.Not to forget Aladdin's magic lamp with the genie granting him wishes.

Then there are the more serious wishes.Especially the last wishes of those dying.These death wishes become more valuable because of the shortage of time available to these people.Sometimes within a matter of days,the entire world changes for some.The ground gets pulled from underneath their feet and they will be under shock and denial.All that they had thought they could do over a lifetime suddenly has a near deadline.A second becomes as valuable as a year.

About the video I mentioned earlier,in it a doctor says how he was once asked by a woman to deliver her baby immediately so that her son would be able to hold his father's finger at least once.Was touching.A father's last wish was satisfied.


Now what can we do to make these precious wishes come true?Have you heard of the make-a-wish foundation.Started in the US,it now exists in India since 1995.It is an organization aimed at fulfilling a cherished wish by a terminally ill child.Like they say,it helps to bring back what the disease takes away-hope,strength & joy.More than 18,600 wishes have been fulfilled by the organization in India already.I think its highly praise-worthy.Hope they are able to fulfill many more wishes.You can help them make these cherished wishes come true by donating to them in any way possible.Do not hesitate to check out their website http://www.makeawishindia.org/ .

I believe we should not hold back our wishes,after all wishing is free.Sometimes you do not need a wishing wand or a shooting star or a loosened eyelash,sometimes..a prayer is all you need.So make a wish now!The wish-maker may make it come true..

My SuperMom!!

Like someone somewhere said, "God could not be everywhere and so He created mothers."I think that line expresses the importance of a mother wonderfully.We are not a very expressive family,the number of I love you's and hugs & kisses are less.However it does not mean that the love itself is not there.Today being mothers day I write this entry as a tribute to my supermom Shahanaz,thus making this blog entry my portal of expressing at least a portion of what I feel about her.


Always there to listen to our sadnesses and comfort us in her soothening voice,she takes part in our joy wholeheartedly.Her support has always been my strength in times of distress.She was not an easy mother to live with as she is quite strict in many ways but looking at all that now I feel that has been a blessing in disguise.She always tried not to make us spoilt kids.Being highly critical sometimes drove me mad but I now see that has helped set high standards for me.She has taught me so many things which not everyone is lucky enough to get.


I'm not exaggerating by calling her supermom.The number of people who have called her that itself is proof of her capabilities.Mashallah.Being a full time working doctor she was and is still able to balance out her 24 hours of the day amazingly well.There was not a minute when she would sit still or even have an extra nap.Always active,she would paint,stitch,cook and do umpteen other things.Touchwood.She was the one who took us out most of the time as my dad could not get time off from work.


 People ask me,are you also as talented as your mother?Well definitely not but I'm hoping to reach somewhere near her in the future.Always a role model,she has set the standards quite high.Hopefully her reflection in me will become more strong as time passes by and so I pray that I too make her proud just like she made her own parents proud.God bless mothers for without them we would not be us.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!